Wednesday, December 23, 2009
That is a word that is causing both Jonathan and I a LOT of stress right now. Here it is 3:55 in the morning and I can't sleep bc I have so much on my mind. We originally had Baylor's childcare set, but the place we were going to use has since closed down. So we have being calling around several churches and in-home childcare places. We just went on a interview Monday morning which is like 8 minutes away from our house and is like 2 minutes from my work which is perfect. She has the cutest little play room and has a very clean home and yard. Her and her husband seem really nice. She is DHR approved. So why can't I make a decision?? I don't know if I still have questions about it because it's not the right situation or if I'm just being a Mommy and no one will ever truly be good enough to watch our sweet Baby.
I've done a lot of praying and asking God for guidance. I just hope that I will find the feeling I need to make the best decision for Baylor, Jonathan, and I. Our church gave me a great devotional for new moms. It's called "Baby Boot Camp" Basic Training for The First Six Weeks of Motherhood. I have really enjoyed it and recommend it to new mom's. Several days ago the devotional was about making the right decision for childcare whether it be quitting your job and staying home, using a church daycare, or in-home childcare. It gave me a new way of looking at the whole process. It talks about a woman who wished that she was still pregnant because she felt like she was able to take better care of her son then, she was with him all the time, and she could protect him from anything. Oh how I can relate to that. She goes on to say that no matter what decision we make, "when you can't be there, you can trust the Lord, who is always with His children." As this devotional reads, " I have to realize that my children are better off in God's hands, and I have to give them to Him and leave them there." I must trust God with the one He has entrusted to me.
I know that no matter what decision Jonathan and I make it will be the best one for the 3 of us. I want to ask for your prayers as we try to decide what is best for us.
"If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the Lord, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.'''
-Psalm 9 1:9-14